Ok, one day you wake up with more of than eye gook that normal and POOF I have some weirdo sickness called “Pink Eye”. I don’t know what nerd in our Gov’t named it that, but it’s a real dumb name. Let me rant for a minute. Like my title says, it should be called, the red, itchy, gushy, stinging, blurring eye sickness. For all you geeks out there its real name is “conjunctivitis”. I have never in my life had this before. Never again do i want to have it. I feel like I’m going to infect the entire family or any person that gets in a 5 foot radius of my eye. I did however have fun Wed. chasing around some of the students with my eye. 

Well, It gets worse… the pink eye germs realized there was a new untouched area, 1.2 inches away from the left eye they were cannibalizing. Yes, you guessed it, they found a new feeding ground in the right eye. At least I can say it’s been an experience. I pinky promise, pun intended, I will never make fun of any pink eyers again.

Here’s a picture for you visual learners. I now wash my hands every 2 minutes

-chris-

One of the so-called benefits of being a youth pastor is that you learn certain tricks along the way, that can sometimes make you cool, to those unsuspecting younglings. I myself, have several “tricks” or weird things, you can do at a table in the local restaurant. Most of them were learned and taught at your local Chili’s. I thought I would share my goofy tricks that sum up my 14 years as a youth pastor. 

1. flip the cardboard drink coast from Chili’s
Lay one (or more) cardboard square coaster on the side of any flat table. Hit the coast with hand coming up. As the coast flips in the air CATCH IT with the same hand.
VARIATIONS: a) flip larger amount on coaster at once. b) flip coasts with both hands c) thros coasts at teenager while trying to do this trick.

2. catch the quarters from the elbows.
This one a actually learned years earlier, but it works well with students. Put quarter on your elbows. Try to catch quarters as you thrust you arms down ward. Not as easy as i sounds

3. lick your elbows:
 Tell everyone you heard on the news that this guys in New Guinea somewhere learned how to lick his elbows. Now step back and watch the pandaemonium. so much fun to watch.

4. balancing forks on a toothpick:
This is the clincher. I show everyone at the table how to balance to interlocking forks on top of the end of a toothpick straight up. Very cool trick. No explanation of how it works. Just a picture instead. Hopefully, I may get a gig on Jay Leno’s show…

Hope you enjoyed my somewhat cool ramblings about my stupid tricks as a youth pastor. Maybe I can learn some new ones as a senior pastor. maybe

-chris-